Ten Years
by Sg1Trooper
Summary: Ten years of memories and life, Sam reflects on her time at the SGC and with SG1 now that she's moving on to Atlantis.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all. Did this for WOTW challenge on SJfic. Still working on next part of rumors should  
be up soon. Hasn't been beta so all mistakes are mine. Enjoy.

Title: Ten Years  
by : Lilly

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Her boxes were packed, her lab cleaned out and here she sat in the dark wondering if she was ready for this next challenge.

As soon as she stepped through that doorway her chapter with SG1 would be closed.

She thought back to the last 10 years of her life.

She had grown-up here, she had experience triumph and sorrow. She had celebrated victories and good time. She had suffered defeat and death all in this base. How many good people had they lost to this war? Too many to count, some were acquaintances others close friends some were family.

She wished her father and Janet could see her now and how much she had accomplished. She missed them everyday and silently said a prayer of thanks to them for helping make her the person she was today.

She would miss her teammates.

All of them having been a part of her life these last ten years it would be hard not to.

Cam and Vala were the new additions to her extended family but they proved to be just as dear to her as the guys were.

Cam reminded her of her old CO especially that time when they were out of phase and she had been injured. She thought that was it and how sad that if she was to take her last breath it would not be with one of her old teammates. But Cam kept her alive as well as kept her spirits. He would not listen to her when she asked him to carry out her last wishes.

He had been so angry with her and couldn't believe that she was giving up. He yelled at her and asked where the hell was the real Samantha Carter the one that would never give up. He had said he was disappointed in her and that all the trouble he had gone through in getting her on SG1 had been a waste of time.

She willed herself to live so she could kill him when she got better She had come up with 100 ways to kill Cam and they had laughed about it when they had returned to the SGC. He only proved then and there that he cared and that he would never leave her behind.

Vala was the opposite of tame.

She was spontaneous and fun to be with. She loved her like a sister. She never thought that she would let another person take that spot in her heart. Janet had been her best buddy, her surrogate sister and a dear a close friend. After her death it just hurt too much to let anyone else in. The guys had understood this since they felt the same. But when Vala came into their lives it was hard not to let the quick-witted, unpredictable, crazy scoundrel into their lives.

She had pictures to remind her of the good times with her friends and family for when things in Atlantis got bad or she got homesick.

She pulled out the pictures of the guys.

They smiled at her and she returned the gesture. Each of them had a hand in molding her into the woman she was today.

Daniel had been like her eager to please. At their first meeting she knew she would get along with him. His enthusiasm was contagious and she tried to make an impact on him with her knowledge only to be taken aback on how much she didn't really know about the stargate. He was never one to flaunt his knowledge he was always willing to listen and give his perspective.

He turned out to be one of her best friends, always there when she needed a hug or just someone to sound off too. He never judged her and was always patient with her. He was the brother she always wished Mark would have been. She would miss him but Vala had promised to keep him occupied and on his toes.

Teal'c had been a mystery at first. He was apprehensive about letting anyone get too close to him. It was all part of his Jaffa training. She was impressed by his skills and his loyalty. When others tried to find fault with him, she would try to explain to them that he was not as bad as they thought, that if they were lucky enough to have him let them into his inner circle that they would be amazed at what a deep, caring person he was. He had taught her so much he had been her rock when things seemed lost.

He had held her when she was at her lowest point. They had only each other having thought they had lost two of their teammates.

He had taught her how to fight and how to have patience with others that had none. He promised to keep an eye on Cam, Vala and Daniel saying that she had to move on that her path was leading her on another journey but to never fear that they were there behind her. He bestowed the best advice to her that a true leader asks for help and not just carries the burden alone. That if she ever needed him or any of them that all she had to do was ask.

She pulled out the picture of Cam and Vala and she let out a snort.

t was right after Cam's high school reunion. Vala said she hadn't minded Cam hooking up with "that girl" but knew she was still number 1 in both his parent's hearts. She had sat on his lap and taken a picture of her giving him a kiss and then email it out to his mother saying that they had worked things out and that she was practically her daughter in law. Cam had heard an earful from "that girl" and never heard from her again thanks to Cam's mom spreading the news that Vala and him were practically engaged.

She shook her head and pulled out the other frames. She fingered the picture of Cassie, Janet and her dad. She would display them in her office or room she still didn't know where. They would be there to give her strength, as would the photos of the rest of her family.

Then there was the one of her former CO.

He stared up at her with that smile that always made her catch her breath. He looked so relaxed not looking like the hard ass General others had learned to steer clear of when he would walk the halls of the SGC.

She remembered when it was taken he never knew about this picture. Janet had taken it of him years back and said she could have it. It was one of her favorites and she would not leave it behind.

She put them all back in the box and turned to see him standing in the doorway.

"Carter what are you doing in here in the dark?"

She shrugged. He stepped closer to her, "People are waiting to send you off in grand style I even heard they made you a special cake. I didn't even get cake when I left."

She smiled but didn't move from her stool.

He looked at the box full of pictures. She had made sure his was at the bottom and pushed the box to the side.

"You're going to miss this place aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. I spent 10 years of my life here, I learned so much but now…"

He put down the bag he had brought with him pulled her hand from her lap and squeezed it.

"You are ready for this, never doubt that. This new venture is tailored made for you. Even though I'm losing my favorite genius and the Pegasus Galaxy is getting one of the earth's nation treasures you've earned this."

She smiled at him, "I remember the first time you called me that."

"Yeah seems like yesterday."

She gasped, "Oh God you didn't say that at the IOA meeting when they were considering me for the position."

He smirked, "No I would have to explain to them why I call you that and you know how much I love to speak in front of shrubs. So no that little gem is all mine. I'm proud of you. Dad would have been too."

"You think?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I know, he and Selmak would be so proud so would doc she'd be ecstatic you had gotten the position but sadden that it would take you away from her. I miss them. The place hasn't been the same since."

"So do I and your right it hasn't been the same. I'm going to miss all of this. All of you."

"Really? All of us"

She squeezed his hand, "especially you, I rarely got to see you when you went to Washington and that's only hours away now…"

He reached for the bag and handed it to her.

"Just a little going away present you could call it a keepsake of my favorite time."

She opened the bag and inside was a picture of both of them on the dock at his lake. It was right after her father passed away and she had finally said yes to fishing.

"I thought it could go with the picture of me you have."

She looked up shocked. He shrugged.

"Cassie told me doc gave it to you. Was just wondering why I never saw it up on your mantle."

"Because…"

He pulled her up from the stool. "No more hiding, we are free and clear. We are no longer in the same chain of command. We are free to do what we have been wanting to do for years."

She smiled, "ten to be exact."

"Ten years? It only seems like yesterday when I pushed you through the gate."

"Don't remind me I felt so sick after I got to the other side. I was such a babbling geek that day wanting so badly to impress you."

He smirked, "Yeah I know, what you didn't know at the time was that you impressed me when you didn't take my crap and challenged me to that arm wrestling match. I knew then I didn't stand a chance. But when you started with that techno babble…"

She smiled, "You know why I used all that techno babble? It was to keep me from staring at you to long or have you leave. I couldn't handle being in the same room with you, I only have so much self control."

He touched the edge of the picture, "So like your gift?"

She hugged the picture, "yes! I love it and you."

He pulled her towards him and asked, "So, Colonel, are you about ready to go?"

She smiled took one last look and nodded, "Yeah let's see what the next ten years brings."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Wasn't going to write a part two for this story but heck this came to mind tonight or morning and I hope you enjoy will be pt 3 and more now that we've been given the update on season 5. So enjoy

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"Does it get any easier?"

I wait for an answer but know none will be forthcoming. I look around my room the silence deafening.

I look down at his picture and ask another question. "How did you do it? How did you keep it together?"

He's smiling up at me and I shake my head. I hug the picture to my chest and sigh.

"I know that was two questions I did say I was only going to ask one more."

I lay Jack's picture next to me in the bed and rub my temples. It's been a hell of a few months.

Being the "man" or in my case the "woman" wasn't what I'd expected. But what did I expect. I only commanded SG1 for a short time then I went to Area 51. I was in charge of scientists but it was different I treated them like colleagues and I didn't have to worry anything was going to kill them and my biggest fear was that we'd run out of coffee or worse pencils.

When I did return to the SGC Cam was in command of SG1, Jack's thank you for saving or butts during the Anubis battle.

I really didn't mind it gave me the opportunity to do what I do best. Getting us out of tight situations and figuring out solutions without having to worry that I was going to get my team kill. That was Cam's job. To keep us safe and sound, to bring us back in one piece.

But now I am responsible for the lives of every person on Atlantis. Every cook, scientist, soldier and doctor, I was who they came to when things went wrong.

I was the one that had to defend my people's actions and to carry out orders even if they did not agree.

I cover my face with my hands and breath deeply, had it only been a couple of months?

Maybe I wasn't cut out for this. Maybe I wasn't the right person for the job. Maybe the IOC was wrong and should have picked Rodney instead.

Okay well maybe not Rodney but someone more qualified, someone that wouldn't have that little voice inside there head saying "your doing it all wrong Samantha. Are you sure that's the right decision? Oh that was really stupid of you."

The worse part of being here had been trying to fill the shoes of Elizabeth Weir. She had been the heart of Atlantis. Being a civilian gave her more leeway to care and to rule with her heart and worry about the consequences later.

I was military and everything was analyzed strategically first. My scientific rationality came second and so far it had done the job. I know I'd step on some toes and was still trying to prove that I belong here. Sheppard and Teyla have been welcoming, Rodney has been well Rodney and Ronin I'm not too sure I'm one of his favorite people. He doesn't say much to me and just stares and waits for me to screw something up. I he said I didn't trust him when he wanted to bring his friends to Atlantis, I don't think he's forgiven me for not letting them come as he asked.

But that was the right decision once all the dust was settled if I had given in to his request then things would have turned out disastrous. I went with my orders and instinct and it paid off.

I look at his picture, he said it would be a cakewalk that I could do this with one hand tied behind my back.

"Liar," I whisper to the empty room.

How many times had I lost Atlantis? I'm sure there was a pool as too when I'd finally let it go to hell in a hand basket. I smirked maybe I should put some money down too.

"It has to get easier right Jack?"

I push myself off my bed and start to pace. The bottom line was that I missed my family. I wanted to be able to leave my room and go in search of Daniel or Teal'c.

I wanted to hear Cam tell me another story about his grandmother or watch Vala try to embarrass Daniel.

I missed Jack the most. Emails weren't enough. And well we couldn't very well say too much. I wished he was still at the SGC at least I'd get to see talk to him when we would do our weekly check in.

I feel the urge to cry but wont. I need to suck it up.

"Remember Sam, Carter's don't cry."

There's a knock at the door and I grab his picture off my bed and hide it under my pillow and go and open the door.

It's Sheppard.

"Colonel, did I wake you?"

I shook my head, "No, I was going over some notes, is there something wrong?"

"No ma'am I just notice that you weren't yourself and was wondering if you wanted to join me for a cup of coffee."

I smiled, "Thanks, John but no I really need to catch up on my reading and then get to bed."

He pulled something out of his pocket, "I thought you might say that and well I was instructed by a high ranking official to give you this when I thought the time was right."

He handed me the letter I looked at the letter and recognized the writing.

"When did he give this to you?"

He stepped back, "I was instructed to give you that and to not answer any questions so if you'll excuse me Colonel I'll be joining the rest of my team if you change your mind you know where will be."

I look down at it and close the door.

I pull out his picture from under the pillow and prop it up.

"You think of everything don't you? I should have known that I'm never alone."

I sit and open the letter and begin to read words from a man a galaxy away.


	3. Chapter 3

Ten Years

Ten Years  
pt 3

I smile as I read the first line.

"_**If you're reading this then that national treasure of a brain must be working overtime**_."

I touch his picture, "where do you come up with this stuff."

I continued.

"_**I want you to stop thinking, yes I know easier said then done but I need you to stop doubting yourself. You know what you are doing there I said it and I know that your people have probably said it to you about a zillion times by now. Sam you were tailor made for this position. You have the military background and that scientific mind to balance your decisions."**_

I knew this and he was right when I thought I was not doing the right thing I was told I was.

"Jack you just don't know how hard it is sometimes. I have everyone's life in my hands and if I screw up…"

"_**Sam, I know what you're feeling remember? I felt the same thing when I took over for General Hammond, I had so many doubts and the hours of sleep I lost at the beginning did nothing for my boyish good looks."**_

I snort he always knew how to make me laugh.

"_**You're the new Sheriff in town and you will start to second-guess your decisions long after you make them. Do you know how many times I felt helpless sending people through the gate not knowing if they were coming back, it was worse when you and the guys went off on missions if you recall I didn't let you go on many at the beginning I couldn't let go and when I thought you guys had been captured by Bocce Ba'al I blamed myself for not being there to cover your six."**_

I looked up at his picture. He was right he knew exactly how I felt. It was an awful feeling not being able to do anything but to stand by and watch good people go through the gate and pray they would all come back. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this Jack."

"_**Stop doubting your self and let me pass on some very wise words of wisdom. "You are just one person with the lives of others in your hands. Don't let them do anything you wouldn't, back them up never let them doubt you know all the answers and never let them feel you are not in control, George passed me these wise words after I tried to quit I mean retire after a hard month at the SGC. He was right I couldn't let my people down and neither can you. Sam it never gets any easier. You'll have some lull periods but things will never settle down, things will always look worse before it gets better."**_

Worse? Things were going to get worse then they already are?

"_**Don't shut yourself out from your people they need to feel that you belong there Elizabeth Weir was the heart of Atlantis you know that but Hun you can be it's soul, you care and that's what matters the most. Now get up off that bed and go and show them that you belong."**_

He was right, I wasn't connecting with these people and how could I ask them to trust my command if they didn't know who or what I stand for. I saw I was at the end of the letter.

"_**Okay enough of the pep talk, I miss you and I love you. There said it and it's in print so you can stash this next to my picture. You're doing a great job. Stop with that over active brain of yours relax and enjoy this you deserve it. Remember sweetie I'm just a hope skip and a jump through the gate and so are your friends. Never think we would leave you behind that's not what SG1 is about. So if you need a hand just reach out."**_

_**Love**_

_**Jack (your man) O'Neill**_

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, when had they started to fall.

My man, if he only knew how much more he was to me. I'd write him a letter to tell him what I didn't write in my reports. He must be wondering if I read this letter or not. The short time I had been in command a lot had happen. I was happy he had enough faith in me not to want to check to see how I was dealing. I kissed the letter opened the back of his picture and stashed it away for later when ever I started to doubt I was not doing the job.

He was right. I doubted my abilities to lead but the fact was I had learned from the best and I would not let him or my team down.

I would join my new team and find out what made them tick. Knowledge was power and my over active brain needed all this knowledge to make sure Atlantis would never fall and that my people would be safe.

"Okay Jack I'm going, I'll following your words of wisdom. Thank you sweetheart for everything," I whispered to the empty room and felt better about myself.

I walked through the door with a new purpose and with confidence the man I loved was behind me as was my team. Who could ask for anything more and those wraith better watch out there was a new sheriff in town.


End file.
